How to build intimacy in a long distance relationship? What can I say. Love knows no borders.
But when miles stretch between you and your beloved, navigating intimacy in a long distance relationship (LDR) can feel like trying to hug a cloud.
Physical touch may be out of reach, but don’t despair! Building and maintaining intimacy in an LDR is not only possible, but it can blossom into a unique and deeply rewarding experience.
Here are some tips to help you keep the love fire burning bright across the distance.
According to research and an article in Psychology Today, there are a few things to keep in mind if you want a happy, LDR.
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1. How to Build Intimacy in a Long Distance Relationship? Communication
Yes, we’ve all heard it, but in long distance intimacy, communication isn’t just a key, it’s the entire vault. Talk often, and I mean really talk.
Share your day, your hopes, your fears, your silliest jokes. Go beyond surface-level updates and dive into meaningful conversations.
For example, don’t just ask “how was your day?” Ask for the full run down. What did you do when you woke up? What did you eat for breakfast?
How was the traffic on your way to work? How’s (insert work bestie name here) doing today? Are you cooking tonight or did you stop for take out?
Ok, you get the picture. From just those few questions a world or information will come pouring out.
And information can lead to connections, which lead to intimacy.
Make sure to schedule regular video calls, but don’t forget the power of voice notes and spontaneous texts.
Remember, the little things count.
2. How to Build Intimacy in a Long Distance Relationship? Embrace Shared Experiences
Find things you have in common and do them together to build long distance intimacy.
For example, if you both enjoy a certain kind of movie, find it on demand and watch the movies simultaneously.
Another one of my favorites is to play online games together. It doesn’t have to be something as immersive as Call of Duty or 2K.
There are plenty of family friendly puzzle games like Monopoly or Trivia Pursuit that you could play together and have a great time.
Another idea is everyone’s favorite…”sexting”. Send each other sensual massages through FaceTime, engage in flirty texts and voice messages, or try
spicy virtual date nights with shared playlists and suggestive whispers.
You guys can also read the same book and discuss it via video call.
Ask questions about what you thought about the chapter and get each other’s interpretation of what happened.
This is also a great way to get insight into your partner’s thought process during certain situations presented in the book.
The same can be done with music. Share a playlist or favorite song and then share your interpretations.
Did the song move you the way it moved your partner? Talk about it more and build a deeper connection over that conversation.
Creating shared experiences fosters a sense of closeness even when miles apart.
Bonus points for sending each other surprise care packages related to your shared activities.
3. Long Distance Intimacy – Make Plans Immediately
In order for intimacy for long distance relationships to work, one thing you can do is plan your next reunion together.
Count down the days, and set mini-goals to work towards sort of like a team building exercise.
This is important. As soon as you’re apart, immediately start making plans to see each other again.
Even if you know it can’t happen for at least 6 months.
The problem isn’t always the time. It’s the anticipation.
If you know you have something lovely to look forward to, that will make the time go by even faster.
On the other hand, if there are no plans or even no talks of plans…than what’s the point?
It’s like saying Christmas will be “sometime in December”. Psychologically, you need a hard date so you have that goal in sight and in mind.
4. Long Distance Intimacy – Celebrate Milestones
Another key concerning intimacy for long distance relationships…
Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, and even random Tuesdays.
Every occasion is a chance to reaffirm your commitment and excitement for the future.
Make it a game. Try to be the first person to call your partner on those special occasions.
Emphasis on calling, not texting.
5. Intimacy for Long Distance Relationships – Keep the Sparks Flying
Surprise each other!
Surprises are an underrated part of intimacy in a long distance relationship.
And I’m not talking Facetiming at Noon when you usually call at night.
I mean send handwritten letters, funny memes, or unexpected gifts.
Plan fun virtual activities like online dance lessons or cooking classes. Be playful, flirtatious, and spontaneous.
Show them you’re still excited about them, even with distance between you.
The bottom line is that you always want to make sure you’re at the top of their mind. That is even more important in a long distance relationship.
6. Intimacy for Long Distance Relationships – Embrace Technology, but Don’t Overdo It
Technology is a powerful tool for bridging the gap, but use it wisely.
Don’t get overwhelmed by constant video calls or bombard each other with messages. Leave room for anticipation and miss each other sometimes.
Don’t get clingy. Make sure all of your partner’s boundaries are respected.
Being in an long distance relationship doesn’t mean neglecting your own life. Pursue your hobbies, nurture friendships, and invest in personal growth.
A fulfilling individual life makes you a more interesting and engaged partner, and this is true in LDRs as well.
Trust that your connection is strong enough to handle your individual journeys regardless of distance.
7. Get Creative with Intimacy
This is the fun part. Physical touch may be absent, but that doesn’t mean intimacy vanishes.
There are many ways to live out your fantasies together virtually. All you need are some toys and a little imagination.
This is best done together and planned out. Just like a date night, have some time set aside to “set the mood”.
Ask each other what interests you sexually. A game I like to play is 5 Questions. Think of 5 sexually suggestive questions that will spark the conversation.
Nothing too overt, but it definitely should be flirty. For example, instead of asking “what’s your favorite color?”
Ask “what color underwear do you have on?”
Things should lead to where you want from there. But the important part is that both partners should participate.
Most of sexuality is psychological, so if done right, this alone will help the long distance relationship last much longer than if these needs aren’t met at all.
8. Remember, It’s Temporary
The beauty of a long distance relationship is the promise of eventually being together physically and permanently. Keep the end game in mind.
Focus on the end goal, celebrate small victories, and keep the faith.
The distance may be challenging, but the reward of a love that survives and thrives makes it all worth it.
Long distance relationships are not for the faint of heart, but the challenges they present can also strengthen your bond and deepen your intimacy.
By embracing communication, creativity, and understanding, you can create a connection that transcends miles and flourishes in its own unique way.
So, hold hands virtually, whisper sweet nothings through the screen, and remember, love finds a way, even across the vastest distance.
Bonus Tip: Don’t underestimate the power of touch! Invest in “hug pillows”, intimacy toys and other stimulating touch devices that can simulate physical closeness and provide comfort.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to intimacy in an long distance relationship. Experiment, find what works for you and your partner, and embrace the journey.
The best things in life, after all, are worth the extra miles.
